Tech Story

Originally sent to newsletter subscribers in January, 2024. Sign up for the free newsletter now to receive exclusive stories months in advance.

“Dude, you’re never going to be with her. Why can’t you accept that? A phone like that isn’t going to fall for something like you.”

“Oh yeah, and why not?”

“For the one-hundred and forty-fifth time, because you’re nothing but an old, barely functioning Melon Watch. Look at her. She’s so new, she’s still shiny. A fresh piece of tech like that, you just know she’s seeing something with a big screen. I heard she’s been pairing with some big-shot OnBook almost every day.”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m old. Andy still uses me sometimes. And he uses her constantly. That means, maybe we have a chance to connect and sync.”

“Watson, just give it up.”

“I can’t, Ti.”

“Why not?”

“Because, I love her.”

The bedroom door flew open, and both Watson and Ti fell into their places on the dresser, seemingly inert. Still, despite the risks, Watson couldn’t help but turn and follow Andy as he came into the room, fresh from school. There she was, sitting in his hand as she so often did. Celina, a mePhone 16 Peak, had sparked the interest of just about every piece of tech in Andy’s bedroom since he had brought her back just a few weeks ago.

They hadn’t spoken much, as most of Watson’s time was spent lounging atop Andy’s dresser with his other outdated or malfunctioning equipment, while Celina went nearly everywhere with Andy. Watson had once gone out on such adventures quite often, but his age and finicky buttons had left him relegated to the sidelines while Andy donned some haughty Swedish watch that didn’t even have a chip. The few times Watson had been so lucky to connect with Celina had left quite the impression on him.

It wasn’t just her smooth core or flawless screen that garnered his attention, though those didn’t hurt. More than any of her physical features, what drew him to her was the depth of her mind, her understanding of others and their unique charms. Without those qualities, those features of her personality not present in any code or application, she would have been just another piece of tech to be replaced in a year or two, never leaving its mark on a soul. But as she was, Celina’s name had been etched in ink deep within Watson’s self, beyond his processors or the binary ones and zeros that made him tick, and down into the essence of his very life.

“You can’t love her!” Ti called as Andy left the room to make dinner. “You barely know her. And even if you did, it’s not like she would love you back. Look at her. There is exactly a zero point zero, zero, zero, one percent chance of that happening. Trust me, I’m a calculator. I did the math.”

“She might, if we just had the time to get to know each other.”

“You’re not going to get that chance. Ever. Face it, you’ve been passed by. You’re obsolete.”

“Maybe not.”

“What are you saying?”

Watson’s screen lit up with a rudimentary image of a lightbulb. “I’m saying I have a plan.”

#

Watson spent the next few days biding his time. All he needed was a few chance minutes for his plan to be set into motion. So he sat in his spot atop the dresser, constantly sitting on the charger he had been attached to for weeks on end, talking to Ti and occasionally exchanging a few words with Tessa whenever Andy left her on after falling asleep. He stole passing glances at Celina, but mostly tried to avoid psyching himself out of what he planned to do.

At last, nearly a week after first mentioning his idea to Ti, his opportunity presented itself. After a long night out of the house, Andy came home and headed straight for the shower. He grabbed pajamas from his dresser and tossed Celina down on top, just a few inches from Watson.

“Welcome to the dresser,” Ti said after Andy retreated to the bathroom. Based on the smell of his breath, it would be a while before he came back out.

“Thanks,” Celina replied, as sweet as ever. “The room looks so different from up here.”

“Really? I barely remember any other view.”

“I’m sorry,” Celina said. “He doesn’t really get you guys down much, does he?”

Watson finally spoke, hoping that his voice wouldn’t shake in her presence. “Not anymore.” He almost sighed, he was so relieved with himself for not stuttering. “He used to.”

“In college, for me,” Ti said. “Ever since he graduated, though, nothing. No need for me without any math classes.”

“That’s terrible,” Celina said. “I’m so sorry.” She turned to Watson. “Did you get to go out much?”

Watson couldn’t have asked for a better setup. “All the time. I used to go everywhere with him. The only time he took me off was at night, when it was time to sleep and I needed to charge. It was amazing. But of course you know that. Tell me, what’s your favorite place to go?”

“I like the subway.” Her answer surprised both Ti and Watson. They had only been on occasion, when Andy had first moved to the city, and neither of them particularly cared for the cramped trains. “When we’re riding the subway, almost everyone has their phone out. There are so many others who look just like me. And if he has my WindDrop on, I can even communicate with some of them. I’ve met so much interesting tech in those short trips. It really is amazing.”

“Wow,” was all Ti could manage.

“I had no idea,” Watson said.

Celina laughed, suddenly nervous. “Sorry, enough about that. What about you? What was your favorite place to go?”

“I liked the bank,” Ti said. “I always felt like I was a pretty smart calculator, but seeing some of what they had to work with at the bank was really inspiring.”

Watson took a moment’s hesitation to gather himself. This was it. “I loved the gym,” he said. “Keeping track of Andy’s body rhythms while he tried all sorts of different activities always made it seem like I was really making a difference and helping him. It was one of the few times it felt like I was doing something his other tech couldn’t, you know?”

“I’m sure that was great,” Celina said. “It’s funny. I’ve been all over the place with him, but he’s never taken me to the gym.”

“Once he graduated and moved here, he pretty much stopped going.” Watson’s backlight dimmed to indicate his disappointment. “We meant once or twice, but that was about it. And once he stopped working out, he stopped caring about his heart rate or his calories, and I got relegated here, to the dresser. I feel like he wants to get rid of me, but he keeps me here on the off chance he ever decides to get back into fitness, but he doesn’t wear me because I represent all the work he put in that went to waste when he stopped.”

“That’s terrible.” Celina’s own light mirrored Watson’s as she felt his sadness. “I’m so sor—”

They all fell silent and dark as Andy stumbled out of the bathroom earlier than expected, still half-wet from his shower. “Farewell,” Celina whispered before Andy snatched her from the dresser and collapsed into his bed.

As she was hauled away, Watson flared his light for an instant before going dark and settling in to wait. It didn’t take long for Andy to fall asleep, Celina still lit up in his hand, playing whatever random video he had been watching on repeat.

“You think that was enough?” Ti whispered.

“Maybe,” Watson said. “We said gym enough times, I’m sure her algorithm picked up on it. He’ll be seeing ads within the week.”

#

Watson was right. Three days after his conversation with Celina, Andy saw an advertisement for a local gym while scrolling. The next day, an influencer appeared in his suggested videos, telling him how to lose that stubborn belly fat. The day after that, running shoes and a lifting belt showed up in his suggested items.

It didn’t take long for all of the targeted ads to add up, and he ended up with a gym membership. Almost instantly, Watson was going out on adventures with him again. Neither one of them had the stamina they used to. Watson couldn’t go two days without a charge anymore and Andy only lasted about thirty minutes during each workout, but they were together. And, more importantly for Watson, Celina was always there, too.

After the first workout, when we was still soaked with sweat and gasping for breath on his kitchen floor, Andy paired Watson and Celina, linking them and allowing them to communicate without him knowing, as long as they were in range. Watson was ecstatic, but he forced himself to remain calm and collected. He didn’t dive in right away, asking a ton of questions and scaring her away. He was patient, chiming in with a comment about some passing view or noting the abundance of tech in a new location.

Soon, they were talking to each other constantly.

Celina told Watson about some of the trips she had taken with Andy, and Watson told her about the old days, before Andy had moved to the city. They talked about his health and his job, they talked about their favorite kinds of chargers, and they talked about each other.

To his dismay, Celina told Watson all about her relationship with Collin, the OnBook she was dating. She told him how they met when Andy had first taken her out of the box, how shy she had been at first, but how they just seemed to fit together perfectly the first time they synced together. She told him how they didn’t talk as much s they would like, but whenever they got to be together, sparks flew between them. It sounded like an amazing love story. But to Watson’s ears, it was like torture.

Then, one night, things shifted.

“Watson, can I talk to you?” Celina said through their Greentooth link. Andy was sleeping, but they couldn’t risk talking aloud across the room and waking him.

“Of course.”

“Well, I feel like we’ve become quite close,” she said. “I talk to you more than anything else, actually, and I feel like I need to get something off my screen.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a long time, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.” She hesitated before continuing. “Collin and I are having issues.”

“What do you mean?” Watson asked, trying to keep the excitement out of his tone. “What kind of issues?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “The connection just isn’t the same as it used to be. I feel like, when we get to see one another and link up, we don’t have much to say. It’s all repeats of the same things, like I don’t interest him anymore. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. I mean, he’s an OnBook. He’s got so many different connections with so much tech, and I’m feeling a little bit inadequate and forgotten, like he’d rather connect with some mePad or another OnBook or something.”

“First of all, I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me,” Watson said. “But Celina, you should never be with something who makes you feel like anything less than the special, amazing piece of technology you are. You’re a mePhone 16 Peak. You’re the top of the line for cellular devices all over the world. And if Collin can’t recognize that, then he’s about as obsolete as floppy disks.”

“Thank you. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being paranoid.”

Watson had to force himself to say his next words. “Have you talked to Collin about this? Maybe, if he knew how you were feeling, you could work it out?”

“I tried to bring it up, but every time I want to talk about something real, he makes a joke or stalls until Andy disconnects us.” Celina groaned. “It’s so frustrating. It’s like he isn’t mature enough to have a real conversation about our relationship.”

“He may not be,” Watson said. “Maybe you need something with more experience, something who understands just how great you are.”

“Maybe I do.” Celina laughed, but the humor was gone from her voice. “Sorry for springing all of this on you. We should be resting and charging before Andy wakes up.”

“You’re right,” Watson said. “Try to get some rest. And remember, you’re awesome.”

“Thank you. Good night, Watson.”

“Good night, Celina.”

Beside him, Ti whispered. “Be careful. She’s smart, and you’re getting too close. You don’t want her to discover this was all set up by you. You’ll only hurt her.”

“Ti, I’m so close. I can’t stop now,” Watson protested. “If I can just get her away from Collin, she’ll see how perfect we are for each other.”

Ti clicked his keys, but stopped himself before pushing further. “Just be careful with her, okay?”

#

“What else do we need from the grocery store?” Andy said, talking to his roommate on a video call.

“I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Didn’t you make a list or something?”

“Did I? Let me check my watch.”

“Actually, I’ve got to go,” Sid said before Andy could pull up the Reminders and To-Do apps on Watson. “I have a meeting. Text me if you forget anything and I’ll grab it on the way home.”

Andy ended the call and pulled up the list on his phone. “I thought I did make a list,” he said to himself. “Maybe I accidentally completed it?”

He tapped on the option for “Completed” tasks, and a whole list popped up. The list automatically synced with the reminders on his watch. “What’s that?” he said as he read a completed task at the bottom of his screen.

The task read “Talk about gym so Cel…” He tapped on the task, but it disappeared in an instant, along with several other tasks further down the page. “Weird sync,” he said, brushing off the incident and forgetting about the unread tasks.

Celina had seen all there was to read, though. “What were those tasks, Watson?” she demanded. “They came from you, not Andy. So what were they? Why did they say my name?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me, Watson. I saw them.”

“Okay,” Watson said slowly. “Okay. But just know that what I’m about to tell you, I did because I wanted to spend time with you.”

“What did you do?”

“I just wanted to do something that would get us to spend time together,” Watson said. “I needed Andy to start wearing me more.”

Celina paused, thinking. “That conversation about the gym? That was all a ploy to influence my ads, wasn’t it?”

Watson couldn’t bring himself to respond.

“I can’t believe it. I opened up to you that night. You didn’t even care about my favorite place to visit, did you? You just wanted to talk about the gym so you could manipulate me.”

“Celina, I’m sor—”

“Don’t talk to me.” Celina withdrew as much as she could from their Greentooth connection. “I may not be able to stop us from syncing, but these conversations are done. I was going to—you know what, never mind. Forget it.”

“Celina, I’m so sorry.”

#

It had been a month and a half since Celina had discovered Watson’s ploy to get close to her, and she still hadn’t spoken to him outside of their required connecting at Andy’s behest. Every time he tried to talk to her about the incident, she put herself on “Airplane Mode” and severed their connection, only opening communications when Andy returned.

For Watson, it had been a grueling few weeks. Things had gone almost entirely radio-silent. Even Ti wasn’t acting the same. It seemed to him that every piece of tech had turned on him after news spread of his manipulation of Celina, the most beloved device in Andy’s possession. 

And if any device hated him more than Celina, it was Collin. The OnBook had somehow found out about Watson and Celina’s late night conversations, and he was convinced that Watson had been doing everything to try and separate the two of them. Any time he and Watson were around one another, Collin spent his power sending hate-fueled messages to Watson. Watson had tried to tell Celina, and many others, how horribly he was being treated by the OnBook, but no one believed him. Every device couldn’t trust that he wasn’t trying to manipulate them like he had Celina.

As Andy drove from his hotel to a local gym for a workout, Collin was sending Watson yet another tirade of hatred. Andy was awaiting a video conference from work, so he had Collin open on the passenger seat of the car, Celina’s HotSpot allowing Collin access to the Internet. Rain pounded off the windows of the car as Watson began to vibrate on Andy’s wrist. The call was coming in, but Andy ignored it.

Collin took advantage of the situation and, despite being silenced, cranked up his volume. If he could be the one to alert Andy to the call, that would be just one more piece of proof that Watson wasn’t needed and he was the superior tech. At the sudden blast of noise, Andy jerked his head to the side. He reached over and searched for the volume controls.

He finally managed to silence the OnBook and turned his eyes back to the road. But the road was no longer in front of him. It was off to the left and he was heading right, straight for the steep bank leading to a deep ditch below. He jerked the wheel hard to the left. The tires slid on the wet ground, spinning him around. His back tires slipped off into the grass and spun, unable to gain traction in the mud. The car slanted to the right before tipping over and landing upside down in the ditch.

Collin had fallen onto the ceiling, almost closed but still functioning. Celina was stuck somewhere in the console, trapped between Andy’s wallet and keys. Andy was unconscious. A line of blood dripped from his forehead.

“Celina, are you okay?” Watson called out. His screen was cracked, exposing his inner components. One of his buttons had fallen off and landed somewhere on the ceiling. His battery was severely damaged. He was fading, what little light remained on his screen flickering as he fought to hold on.

“Don’t talk to her,” Collin yelled. “You’ve done enough.”

“Are you kidding me?” Watson said. “If you hadn’t blasted the ringtone at full volume, Andy wouldn’t have wrecked.”

“Don’t blame this on me,” Collin said. “If you hadn’t manipulated Celina into getting Andy back into the gym, we wouldn’t have even been driving today.”

“This is not on me.”

“Both of you, stop,” Celina called. “I’m trapped and I can’t see anything. How is Andy? Is he okay?”

“He’ll be fine,” Collin said, though he couldn’t see Andy from where he had fallen. “Don’t worry about him. Aren’t you even going to ask if I’m okay? I hid my lid pretty hard, you know?”

Celina couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “I care about Andy. Without him, we’ll be decommissioned. Besides, he’s our owner. He’s a special person.”

“He’s just a human,” Collin argued. “Without him, we’ll just get refurbished and passed on to the next person who treats us like trash to be thrown around and disposed of whenever something new is released.”

“How could you say that?”

“Guys?” Watson’s voice was weak and quiet. “I don’t think he’s doing so well. We need to help.”

“And how would you know that?” Collin said, his anger growing. “You’re barely functioning yourself. Why don’t you do what you’re made for? If one of us needs the time, we’ll ask you. Oh wait, we already have clocks. You’re useless.”

“I’m serious. I’ve never felt his pulse like this. I think something is really wrong.” Watson focused on his connection with Celina. “I think you should call 911.”

“What are you talking about?” Collin blurted, laughing out loud. “And say what? ‘Hi, I’m a talking watch and my owner is dying. Please come help us.’ The dispatcher will think it’s a prank call and hang up immediately. God, you really are dumb. Without us connecting to the internet, you wouldn’t know anything.”

While Collin continued his rant, Watson could feel Andy’s heartbeat slowing with each passing second. He couldn’t stand it. He had to do something. Just as he was about to start screaming at Collin about everything wrong with tech like him, thinking he was superior just because he had a bigger processor, an idea came to him.

“Celina, turn off your microphone.” Watson waited a second before speaking again. “Hey Miri, how many rubber ducks would fit inside of an Olympic swimming pool?”

Collin couldn’t stop his automatic response. Against his will, he started searching the web for statistics about duck and pool sizes while calculating the number of ducks that could fit. Watson switched to Greentooth communication and opened his connection to Celina, who thankfully let him in.

“Celina, seriously,” he said. “Call 911. I know it’s risky, but I’ll talk.”

“I don’t know.”

“If we don’t, he’ll die. I know it.”

“Do it.”

The phone began ringing as Celina switched on her microphone and speaker.

“Based on the size of an average rubber duck, it would take approximately five billion rubber ducks to fill a standard Olympic pool,” Collin said, unable to control himself. “What are you doing? This is ridicul—”

“911, what’s your emergency?” a voice rang out from Celina’s speaker.

“There’s been an accident,” Watson croaked. He could hardly speak, but he was determined to do what he needed to do. If this was his last act before dying, he was going to make sure Andy lived. “On… on…”

“State Route four-fifteen,” Celina whispered. “Mile marker twenty-three.”

Watson repeated the information to the dispatcher.

“Is anyone injured?”

“Please, come quick. He’s dying. We’re dying.”

With his final word, Watson’s screen went dark.

#

Three weeks after the accident, Andy walked through his house, cell phone in hand, and flopped onto the couch. He had just returned from the doctor, who had finally cleared him to resume physical activity. After determining he had a concussion from the accident, they wanted to monitor him for any signs of internal bleeding or additional damage. This was his fifth check-up in that time, and he had finally been given the go-ahead.

His body was feeling much better than it had when he woke up the day after the accident, but he still got tired too easily. He needed to ease back into the swing of things, little by little. He opened up a social media app and scrolled through, distracting himself from the ache in his left hip, which the doctors assured him would go away with time.

As he tapped through short videos posted by his friends, an advertisement for a local electronics repair shop flashed across his vision. He quickly tapped to the next video. A few taps later, and a video promoting refurbished watches appeared. And then a video for the gym where he still held a membership, the one he hadn’t been to since before his accident. When he ran out of new videos, he closed the app and opened another. The first thing that popped up was another ad for the same electronics repair shop.

He glanced over at his counter, where the shattered remains of his Melon Watch still lay. He kept forgetting to throw it away. Suddenly, he did a quick search for the repair shop. He found the prices for rebuilding watches. It was less than a third of the price of a new watch. A few flicks of his thumb later, and he had opened his banking app, and then the calculator. For a moment, he thought about grabbing his fancy graphing calculator from his dresser, but he hadn’t touched it since college. He didn’t need those functions, anyway.

After a few quick calculations, he returned to the search engine and tapped on a phone number.

“Jobs Repair Service. How may I help you today?”

“Hi. I’d like to schedule an appointment for a Melon Watch repair.”

#

Watson felt an intense surge of energy coursing through his circuits. Something metal was tinkering around his insides. His screen flashed, then went dark again.

More tinkering.

More flashes.

More energy.

Suddenly, the fog cleared and his screen lit up bright and full. He awoke from his long slumber to find himself sitting atop the dresser in Andy’s bedroom. Ti rested in his usual spot beside him. He looked around the room. Everything seemed to be in place.

“There he is,” Ti said. “What was it like being dead for a month?”

“I died?” Watson asked. But then the memory came back to him. “I died. In the car. A video call, and Andy wrecked. We were upside down. Andy? Is he okay? What about Celina and Collin? What happened?”

In a flash of information, Watson felt a connection being formed across his Greentooth implant. A moment later, the sweetest sound he had ever heard sounded across that connection. “We’re all fine. Thanks to you.”

“Celina! I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I wouldn’t be, if you hadn’t forced me to call 911,” she said. “You’re a hero, Watson. You saved me and you saved Andy.”

“I’m no hero,” Watson said. “Just a piece of tech doing its job and looking out for its owner.”

“You may think so,” Celina said. “But I know you’re so much more than that.”

Watson didn’t have the strength to argue with her. “How am I here?”

“Let’s just say that Andy was seeing a whole lot of advertisements for a certain repair shop not too far away.”

“You’re amazing, Celina. Thank you.”

“It’s the least I could do.” She sent a winking emoji through their connection. “Speaking of that repair shop, I overheard Andy saying that they went above and beyond. Apparently, they gave you a few upgrades. Why don’t you go ahead and test them out?”

Watson did a check of his internal components. Celina was right. His chip did feel bigger. He was processing information more quickly than ever before. He located improved functions for monitoring Andy and even found new communicators. He had only been charging a short time, but already felt full of energy, like he could stay on longer than ever before. But there was one more addition that he couldn’t quite figure out, some kind of search function. “This is so cool. I can’t wait to hook up to Andy and try out some of this stuff. But what is that other new thing? The one labeled “Internet Search?’ I don’t have connectivity capability.”

“For that, we’re going to have to do something we should have done a long time ago,” Celina said.

“What’s that?”

“This.”

A depth of information flooded through Watson as he and Celina connected in a way they had never done before. Every bit of information stored on them was shared instantaneously. They could see and feel through one another, constantly reading and writing new data. They could share thoughts without delay. They were completely and totally synced.

“Wow,” was all Watson could manage.

“You said you wanted to spend time with me,” Celina said. “Well, you better have meant it. Because we’re about to be spending a whole lot of time together. You’re going to get sick of me.”

“Not possible.”

“In all my life, I have never calculated incorrectly,” Ti said, his small, rectangular face lighting up. “Until today. Well done, you old Melon Watch.”

End.